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brassman225
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Name: Phil
Gender: Male
Interests: I got crazy love for literature, Dickens, Dostoyevsky, Steinbeck, and horror of horrors....Shakespeare. Languages are also pretty bangin, when I grow up I wanna be able to speak multiple languages. I must say though, I love me some food, so I guess that means I love to cook, straight up and off the bat.
Expertise: Hmm....this sounds like it requires certain skills.....and this would require me to have them...not so much
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message me
Member Since:
8/10/2004
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| I think that I am temporarily going to give up xanga. I am getting kinda tired of simulposting in three places, here, myspace and the blogger. So feel free to read my blogger:
escapethegray: the blog reincarnated
Stay classy San Diego. | | |
| i have decided that i cannot complain about my social life (or lack thereof). it occured to me that while i would love to believe that i am somehow a victim of circumstance, what it boils down to is how i choose to live and with whom i choose to interact with. i mean, gosh. here's a straw, phil, suck it up. if i was whining about being too tall or perhaps that the sky is always gray, that would be at least moderately acceptable, albeit still complaining and therefore the bane of my existence.
that's a funny juxtaposition of ideas. to hate complaining and find yourself doing it every once in a while. kinda like how i hate washing dishes, but i hate seeing them lay around dirty and so i end up washing them. damn character building.
oh dear. i feel as though cursing has somehow found itself in my vocabulary. there are so many words in the english language, yet there are very few that have the acute poignancy of foul, four-letter words. it probably doesn't help that i think the f-bomb is the funniest curse word ever. i'm likely going to hell. shoot. as opposed to its dirty cousin of four letters. ha, saved myself there.
so it's coming down to the wire. i have approximately 8 weeks to definitively decide my future/academic fate/major. there will be no turning back. its pretty much down to physics/spanish/min in french or spanish/french/min in chemistry. i suppose the mysterious third option--perhaps a major i am not considering--might rear its ugly head. so if any of you who read this have some insight or perhaps a blood tie to miss cleo and her psychic powers, feel free to advise/prophesy/tocar la guitarra--thats bs for the non hispanohablantes.
and i will leave you with this. prophecy is a noun and prophesy is a verb. i didn't know that. i had to look it up. learn something new every day. | | |
| I have not much to say.
[sigh] I have much to learn. There are some things that must be mastered with time and practice. Like the radio. And taking pictures. It is really too bad that we can't be instantly good at everything we touch.
[sigh] I hate that feeling. The empty, I-wish-I-was-around-this-person-who-is-not-here type of feeling that is currently marinating my soul. I am not usually outwardly sentimental, but I am tired of being stoic.
[sigh] The highlight of my social life is comments on my blog or mySpace. Something has got to give. Or change. Emphasis on change. I need to change.
Thats it. | | |
| So I suppose I am a bit of an odd jobs man. I work as a TA for the Intro to Chem lab, I am training to be a radio announcer, and I will start taking photos for the yearbook here in the next couple of weeks. I have tried to discover the linking thread through my jobs, but there really isn't one, at least not yet.
Being a TA is humbling. I find myself asking really dumb questions, and generally not being sure of myself when anyone asks me a question. I still haven't taken that class where you learn all of the answers to every chemistry related question. I think it's only offered every other year.
I am pretty excited about being employed to take yearbook pictures, although I am not so sure about my abilities to do so. I have never taken a class, the only real experience that I have had is taking pictures last year in Argentina. When I got the news, I panicked, and went to the library and started pouring through photography books. Dang, what a typical Phil response. Pretty much, in retrospect, I have decided that the only way to learn is to practice. So I have been, and I will. The artist in me will dramatically emerge onto the scene, and take control. Umm, yeah....right. But I can dream, n'est-ce pas?
And, lastly. The job as a radio announcer. I just started training today. I felt like I was trying to fill a shot glass with a fire hose; the information kinda swirled around my brain, but didn't really soak in at all.
Maybe there is a common thread. These jobs do, in some way or another, take me out of my comfort zone. Consciously or unconsciously, I am doing things that might encourage me to grow as a person. I have my doubts, but in some ways it is kind of exciting, the possibility of growth, the prospect of broadening my horizons.
Waxing philosophic in my near-old-age...what is the world coming to?
Peace. | | |
| So I am sitting contemplating, instead of getting down and dirty with my Arabic vocab, and looking at the giant world map on our wall. Maybe I can do both.
Maybe not. I won't bore you with how to say house and book and dog in Arabic.
I really am getting the traveling bug. I just want to go somewhere that isn't home and that isn't school. The world is so big, so many places that I have never been. I should be grateful for the traveling that I have done, and I am, but still, I would love to just set off on an adventure. Me, my backpack, and a camera. And a debit card with unlimited cash. Just for those emergencies, when you need to buy a small island or the like. And there I go daydreaming again. Stupid map. Amazing map.
As I am sitting here writing, maybe part of the reason behind the bug resurgence is that I would love to avoid making any decisions about my life. When one travels, it is all about being in the moment; when trying to avoid getting lost and evading potential pickpockets, while simultaneously taking pictures and protecting your camera, there is no time to worry about the future and what will happen to you.
Its probably good that I have to spend time contemplating. Better to make a well thought-out decision, than to put it off for as long as possible, right? I'll let you know when I convince myself of that.
Live deeply. | | |
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